Many families can be caught off-guard by the number of tasks that must be completed within a day or two of a loved one’s death. Even those who have planned a funeral before may find themselves overwhelmed by the decisions that need to be made and details that must be coordinated.
Although funeral professionals are skilled at guiding families through the essential tasks when a death occurs, funeral planning is much easier for everyone involved when these components are accounted for as part of advance funeral arrangements. Prearranging allows an individual to express his or her preferences, make thoughtful choices about funeral plans and talk through options with a preneed professional.
Think of the checklist below as an advance funeral planning to-do list, built to help you simplify the process and ease the burden for your loved ones later.
Your Advance Funeral Planning Checklist
1. Secure vital statistics
Even if the closest family members will be responsible for coordinating funeral arrangements, it’s a good idea to make finding vital statistics as easy as possible for them. During the emotionally difficult time following a loss, they’ll appreciate having quick access to information.
Important vital statistics to compile include:
- Full legal name
- Complete address
- Date and place of birth
- List of family members (living and deceased), including spouse and any maiden names, if applicable
- Education and work history, including most recent employer and retirement date
- Military service information
- Passwords for devices and online accounts
In addition to this information, family members need to know where to find other important paperwork such as marriage certificates, insurance policies, wills, investment and retirement account information, etc.
2. Express preferences for services
During the prearrangement process, individuals often discover they have specific preferences when it comes to the way they would like their loved ones to honor their life. If you haven’t already chosen a funeral home, this blog post provides helpful considerations as you make your choice.
Remembrance plays a key role in the grieving process, so it’s important to provide your loved ones with an opportunity to celebrate your life, even if it’s a small gathering. Funeral service professionals can help explain the available options and the decisions that need to be made for each, such as service locations and transportation needs. If a viewing is specified as part of plan, be sure to include preferences for clothing, jewelry, glasses, hair and makeup.
There are countless ways you can customize your service, no matter what type you choose or what your budget is. Planning in advance allows you to express your wishes for many different aspects of involvement, including clergy and other members of a religious organization, pallbearers, readers, singers and musicians. You should also specify the messages or religious passages you would like to be part of the ceremony (or ceremonies), as well as any hymns or other songs that should be played.
3. Decide on disposition and memorialization
The choice of disposition method is deeply personal, and more options are available than many families realize. For example, individuals who choose cremation may also include embalming and a traditional viewing as part of their funeral plans. Prearranging allows people to consider all disposition options and make plans that will help avoid conflict among family members when the time comes. You can also make specific selections for items such as caskets, vaults and urns.
In addition to disposition preferences, you should specify the final resting place. Funeral planning paperwork should include the name of the cemetery (if applicable) and whether or not you already own property there. The funeral plan can also specify arrangements for a permanent monument.
4. Record obituary preferences and information
Just as loved ones need access to important information for paperwork, they’ll need details to help compose the obituary. This may not be as straightforward as some families realize, and advance funeral planning allows you to determine what you would like to include. Some people even choose to write their own obituaries in advance so they can express in their own words how they’d like to be remembered.
Advance funeral plans should include the name(s) of the publication(s) that should run the obituary. The plan documentation should also list the names of family members who should be listed in the obituary (such as spouse, parents, siblings, children’s spouses, etc.) and their places of residence. Other possible obituary details include:
- Date of marriage
- High school(s) and college(s) attended
- Career highlights
- Organizations in which the individual was involved
- Hobbies and activities
- Volunteer work
- Degrees, certifications and other recognitions
Looking for inspiration? Here are four great obituary examples to get you started.
5. Make payment arrangements
In addition to expressing preferences for funeral services, people who prearrange can make plans to fund their funerals in advance. By paying for the funeral costs before they are needed, you can remove the financial burden from your family and eliminate potential conflict or unexpected expenses incurred for family members. Preneed professionals can explain the available options and provide information about payment plans offered by their firms, or you can find answers to common preneed funding questions in this blog post.
6. List friends and family members to notify of death
Family members may not consider all the people who need to be notified when their loved one dies. Advance funeral plans allow you to specify friends, relatives, members of their church, former colleagues, etc. who will want to know the news. Record contact information and brief descriptions of your relationship with them. This information is especially useful for ensuring distant friends and relations or those who don't use social media are kept informed of funeral arrangements.
Beyond the basics
Completing the paperwork isn’t the end of an advance funeral planning experience. These next steps can open the lines of communication between family members, keep your plans up to date and help others experience the benefits of prearranging.
7. Keep family members informed of your plans
Advance funeral planning is a gift to your loved ones, but this gift shouldn’t be left as a surprise. It’s important to make sure they know the key details of your funeral plans, including the contact information for the funeral home where you made the arrangements. Although it may be uncomfortable at first, a conversation about funeral planning is one that can make things easier for everyone in the future.
8. Ask about grief support
Advance funeral planning is certainly a positive experience and might have even brought you joy as you reflected on the people and experiences that really matter in your life. But it’s also possible to experience grief when considering your own final wishes and remembering loved ones who have died. Many funeral homes offer grief support resources and programs — don’t hesitate to contact your funeral service provider for information about services in your area.
Homesteaders proudly partners with For Grief to provide grief resources for people to access whenever and wherever they need them. From videos with grief experts to a curated bookshop, the site features multiple formats for those on their grief journey to find support.
9. Periodically review your information
It’s a good idea to periodically review your funeral plan to make sure the information is up to date and reflects your preferences. Your funeral service professional can help explain your options if you’d like to make changes and can also help update your contact details and family information as needed. Be sure to discuss any changes in your plans with family members, too.
10. Share your experience
Individuals who choose to plan a funeral in advance demonstrate very high satisfaction with prearranging. In fact, in a survey of Homesteaders policy owners, over 90% of respondents were completely or very satisfied with their decision to prearrange, and over half (63%) have recommended prearranging to one or more people or plan to recommend it to someone they know.
This funeral planning checklist is just a sample of the considerations funeral professionals can help client families work through. Arranging for these details in advance provides families with peace of mind and helps remove financial and emotional burdens at the time of need.
