Using Visual Intelligence to Better Serve Families: Observational Skills in Funeral Service

In a profession centered on empathy, understanding and support, funeral professionals play a vital role in helping families through some of their most challenging moments. Enhancing observational skills through the techniques described in the book “Visual Intelligence” by Amy Herman can empower funeral professionals to recognize subtle cues, anticipate needs and create a deeply meaningful experience for families.

Amy Herman: Who Is She?

Amy Herman is a highly regarded expert in observational intelligence. With a background in art history, Herman transformed her expertise in visual analysis into a powerful skill-building tool for professionals. Her approach helps individuals interpret nonverbal cues, decipher complex situations and make insightful decisions—abilities that are essential in high-stakes professions such as law enforcement, medicine and now for funeral service.

NFDA 2024 Keynote Speaker & Author

In her keynote at the 2024 National Funeral Directors Association International Convention & Expo, Herman urged funeral professionals to elevate their observational and communication skills to better serve families. She emphasized the importance of prioritizing information, addressing difficult topics directly and reassessing longstanding practices, especially as the pandemic disrupted traditional norms.

Amy Herman 2024 NFDA

Image courtesy of NFDA, captured during Amy Herman's keynote at the 2024 NFDA event.

By shifting perspectives, honing in on nuanced family needs and embracing active listening, funeral professionals can provide more meaningful support. She encouraged professionals to reflect on their approach, noting that even one thoughtful change can make a monumental difference. Families rely heavily on words, so mindful language and genuine inquiry, such as asking if there’s anything left unaddressed, can strengthen trust and ensure nothing is overlooked.

Her book, “Visual Intelligence,” is a guide for enhancing these skills, offering readers practical techniques for sharpening their observational abilities. Herman’s methods reveal how interpreting small details and body language can foster stronger connections and lead to better outcomes.

"Visual Intelligence” by Amy Herman

In the book “Visual Intelligence,” Herman explores how the human brain processes visual information and how individuals can become better at interpreting what they see. By teaching readers to look beyond the obvious, Herman shows how paying attention to small details can lead to a fuller understanding of the people and situations around us. These observational skills can be invaluable for funeral professionals, who often interact with people in vulnerable emotional states.

Herman’s techniques, including questioning initial assumptions and looking for subtle cues, can be applied to funeral service. They allow professionals to understand family needs, anticipate questions and offer a more personalized approach during arrangements. Let’s explore ways to apply visual intelligence in your daily tasks as a funeral professional.

Create Personalized Funerals

Creating a personalized funeral involves more than understanding a family’s wishes; it also requires sensitivity to unspoken needs. By paying attention to subtle cues, such as facial expressions or body language, funeral professionals can gauge comfort levels, preferences and even unspoken wishes. For example, noticing when a family member seems uncomfortable with a certain decision may indicate a desire for a different option. Such insights enable you to create services that feel genuinely reflective of each family’s unique story and cultural background.

In this blog post, we shared an example of a funeral home that listened to a family talk about their loved one’s hat collection. The funeral director took note and worked with the family to hand out those hats at the funeral service to attendees. It was a free, personal and creative way to celebrate their life.

Anticipating Needs and Reducing Stress for Families

In times of loss, families are often overwhelmed by the number of decisions they face. Visual intelligence enables you to anticipate questions and needs, relieving families of unnecessary burdens. For example, by noticing when a family member’s gaze lingers on an item in a funeral home or when a visitor repeatedly looks at the clock, you can take proactive steps to address these silent signals of interest or concern.

Visual intelligence also helps you provide gentle, compassionate guidance. Recognizing signs of distress or hesitation allows you to adjust their approach, perhaps by slowing down to explain a choice more thoroughly or by offering reassurance when a family member seems uncertain. By remaining attuned to nonverbal cues, you can create an environment where families feel supported and validated in their decisions.

Funeral Director or Detective?

Funeral professionals can also use observational intelligence to help in the prep room.

Jeff Thompson, a funeral director at John J. Bryers Funeral Home in Willow Grove, Pa., applied observational skills to help solve two cases of murder that were initially believed to be natural deaths. In the first case, Thompson noticed a rope and candy wrapper lodged in the throat of Kathleen McEwan, a 70-year-old woman with special needs, which led to the discovery of foul play and the arrest of a roommate. In the second case, Thompson observed an unusual bruise on the ribcage of William Neff, an 83-year-old Alzheimer's patient, prompting further investigation that revealed abuse by a caregiver.

In both instances, Thompson's keen observational skills and ability to look beyond the obvious were crucial in uncovering the truth and preventing the deaths from being dismissed as natural causes. His experience demonstrates how heightened visual awareness and critical thinking can solve problems and reveal hidden truths in any profession.


Observational intelligence is not only helpful in client interactions, it also improves teamwork within the funeral home. Team members who practice visual intelligence can become more aware of each other’s needs, offer timely support and foster a workplace culture that mirrors the empathy extended to families.

By refining observational skills, funeral professionals can go beyond standard service to offer nuanced, compassionate care, ensuring that each family feels genuinely supported during their time of loss. In a field where understanding and empathy are paramount, visual intelligence offers an essential toolkit for serving with excellence.

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