If you’re planning ahead for your funeral, you may be wondering how you can personalize your service and funeral plans so they’re as unique and special as you are. How you want to be remembered is a deep and personal question, and we’ll help you walk through what to ask yourself and tips for personalizing your funeral plans for a beautiful, better farewell.

Reflect your life story.

What makes up a life? Everyone has a story to tell, whether you climbed to the top of Mt. Everest or spent your days in a cozy home in a small town. Your community, your experiences and your passions tell stories about your rich life — and the person people knew and loved. Telling your life story may seem daunting, but we’re sharing tips on how to create your story so it reflects you and how you wish to be remembered.

Writing your obituary. 

An obituary is likely the first and longest written piece people will see following your death. Your obituary should reflect not only facts about your life, but your personality and passions. This is the place to weave your story.

• Do you want to infuse humor in your life story or maintain a more formal style?
• Would you like to include information about your family (surviving members and those who preceded you in death)? What about your pets?
• Do you want to share key moments and details from your hobbies, work, special vacations, places you loved, nonprofits you cared for or topics you were passionate about?

Perhaps, it’s easier to “write” your story by sharing it aloud with someone you love. Here are some questions to ask yourself to start and tips about how to record your stories so they live on for generations.

Find more tips and four examples of great obituaries in this blog post.

Writing a eulogy.

Think about who you’d like to write and read a eulogy at your funeral. You could ask one or two people, ask a couple people to give a eulogy together or have an “open mic” for any loved one to say a few words. Below is an outline you can share with the person or people who will eulogize you:

1. Introduction: Who you are and your relationship to the deceased.
2. Stories and memories: Personal anecdotes to show their character.
3. Highlights about their life: Key milestones, accomplishments or passions.
4. Their impact: How they influenced others and how others will remember them.
5. Closing: Words of comfort, a quote or a heartfelt farewell.

Here are a few tips to think about when writing a personalized eulogy:

• Reflect on highlights from your loved one’s life — what stands out most about their character and impact on others?
• If you had to describe your loved one in a few words, what would they be? Think about what they valued and let that guide your speech.
• You can center your eulogy around a story that encapsulates traits about your loved one.

Creating a life slideshow.

Consider collecting your favorite and milestone photos and videos to create a slideshow about your life, set to a few of your favorite songs. You loved ones can view this at the visitation and copies could even be sent to them after the service, so they can look back at highlights from your life. Here are some other ways to incorporate photos into your service.

Incorporate meaningful traditions and rituals.

Honoring traditions — religious, cultural or individual — adds depth and authenticity to a funeral service. What rituals, symbols and practices reflect your beliefs and identity? Consider crafting your farewell with traditions that you hold close to your heart.

Even if you don’t identify with a particular religion or spiritual beliefs, you likely have traditions you love and certainly meaningful beliefs to weave into your service. Whether you seek a religious or non-religious funeral service, traditional or non-traditional, you can ask yourself these questions to help spur creative and meaningful ideas for your farewell:

• What are your core values or beliefs?
• What traditions do you hold close?
• What is core to your identity?
• What is something you love to share about yourself with others?

Personalize the music and readings.

Do you have a favorite song, poem or text? Perhaps one of your loved ones plays an instrument, sings or has a calming speaking voice. Ask your loved ones if they’re willing to celebrate your life with their musical or spoken word gifts.

Include interactive elements.

In addition to asking your closer loved ones to participate in your service, you can include participatory elements for everyone who attends. Guests can sign a guestbook or share a story on a memory board. You could provide meaningful mementos for loved ones to take with them after the funeral. Maybe you always have mints in your pocket to share, so at your funeral, you can plan a basket of wrapped mints that guests can take and remember a small thing that made you, you.

Talk with your local funeral service provider to implement your favorite ideas and personalize your funeral service. Personalizing your service allows you to be remembered how you wish, while giving your loved ones space to grieve and remember treasured details from a life well lived.