How to Help Families Who Are Grieving on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day can be hard for anyone who has lost a mother or mother figure in their life, especially if this year is the first Mother’s Day without her. It’s important to remember that grief is different for everyone, so what works for one family may not be beneficial for another. 

To help your client families who are in this situation, here are a few ways you can serve the members of your community who are grieving on Mother’s Day:

Leave a bin of flowers at your local cemetery.

It’s natural to spend time with loved ones on Mother’s Day – even if doing so requires a visit to the local cemetery. Consider placing a bin of single-stem flowers (carnations, tulips, daisies, etc.) at the entrance of your local cemetery throughout the weekend (and be sure to freshen them at least once a day). Leave behind a sign encouraging visitors to take one home or leave one on the grave of their loved ones, and include a phone number they can call if they’d like additional grief support.

Hold a memorial service.

Memorial services aren’t just effective during the winter holidays – those who have lost a loved one may experience their loss even more on Mother’s Day. Organize a memorial service and invite your client families. Place an ad in the local newspaper extending the invitation to other members of your community. Then, plan a service that is meaningful and constructive – host a guest speaker, offer coffee and dessert and leave space for socializing. Community is one of the most effective ways to diffuse the loneliness of grief.

Send flower arrangements to your local churches.

When I was growing up, we always had bouquets of lilies at the front of the church on Mother’s Day. And – more often than not – one of them had my grandmother’s name on it. The flowers served as a visual reminder of the loved ones who had passed away, a small piece of them remaining to help celebrate the day with those they’d left behind. Ask your local churches if you can donate a flower arrangement on Mother’s Day to help members of their congregation remember their loved ones, then ask the pastor to send the bouquet home with someone who needs a little extra grief support.

Host a Mother’s Day brunch.

There are few things as disheartening as having nowhere to go on holidays, and the loss of annual traditions can be a painful catalyst for grief. Offering your client families a new tradition can help lessen the impact. Invite those who are grieving this year to a Mother’s Day brunch at your funeral home. Make sure you serve good food and plenty of coffee, and then let your client families enjoy each other’s company. Send them home with a small gift – a flower, a candle, a book – and let them know you and your staff are available if they need additional support.

Offer free resources at your local library.

Are there particular grief resources you would like to offer your client families? Consider leaving a supply at your local library. Display a sign inviting patrons to take a free copy, and include your contact information for those who would like additional resources and/or support. Keep in mind the demographics – be sure to include books or resources that would be helpful to young children as well as those aging patrons who frequent the local library.

SUGGEST CREATING A MEMENTO GALLERY.

Using old photos, hand-written notes and other personal items, encourage your families to create a wall or corner dedicated to their mother. This will create a space where they can remember their loved one.

ENCOURAGE THEM TO PLAN A TRIP WITH HER IN MIND.

If a client family’s mother was an avid traveler, suggest that they plan a trip to her favorite places. They could even recreate photos from the past with her children or spouse standing in the same locations she had photos taken.

REMIND THEM TO VISIT HER.

A final resting place gives the families something to return to and is an important part of the grief process. Encourage your families to visit their loved one on Mother’s Day and celebrate her. They can do that by planting flowers or just recalling fond memories together. It’s important to remember that this activity might not be important for every family. They may be more comfortable visiting a place or doing an activity that reminds them of her.

SUGGEST THEY DONATE TO A CHARITY.

Whether their mother was an animal lover or a supporter of the local arts, suggest the family donate their time or funds to her favorite charity. It could help them feel closer to her while also helping the community.

RECOMMEND SPENDING TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

If your client family includes extended family and friends, encourage them to spend time together on Mother’s Day. This may seem difficult at first, as it could make the realization that their loved one is gone even more evident, but their family and friends are the only other people who truly understand what they are going through during this difficult time.

ENCOURAGE THEM TO SHARE THEIR FAVORITE MEMORY.

Whether it’s on social media, in an email or in a Mother’s Day card, let your grieving families know that it can be beneficial to talk about the happy times. Sharing thoughts and feelings in any capacity could have the same effect as journaling, which is an excellent way to manage grief.

ADVISE THEY GIVE THEMSELVES SPACE.

Most importantly, remind your families that it’s okay to not be okay. Mother’s Day could be hard for them and their family members this year and for many years to come. Remind them not to push themselves into situations that make them uncomfortable.


The most important thing you can do for your community is to ensure they know you are there to be a resource and assist them through their grief. As a funeral professional, you understand that grief is a complicated and unique process for everyone – and you are uniquely equipped to meet the individual needs of your communities. Making sure the members of your community are comfortable turning to you for grief support is a powerful way to meet their needs and increase your firm’s brand recognition.

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