Language evolves over the years, and what may have been an acceptable or sensible term 100 years ago, may not be the most accurate or respectful term today. This holds true for the funeral profession and funeral service. Whether you’re a funeral professional or a person curious about funeral terms and funeral words, continue reading to learn about the origins of common words and phrases, which ones we continue to use today and how some have changed.
“Language changes as time changes, and the funeral profession has changed and adapted over time to meet families where they are,” Lexi Smith, Homesteaders Account Executive said. “Funeral directors work hard to keep the emphasis on celebrating and honoring the lives of loved ones, and I think language needs to reflect that.”
Passed Away vs. Died
What is the Difference Between Passed Away and Died?
People may use the term “passed away” as a softer way to say “died,” however, even when speaking with a child about death, it’s important to be direct and honest. “Phrases like ‘passed away’ or ‘went to sleep, can be confusing,” noted this For Grief blog post on children’s grief. “Instead, use straightforward words like ‘died’ or ‘death’ to provide a clearer understanding.”
“We first see the term ‘passed away’ appear in English writings of the 15th century,” wrote Renaissance Funeral Home in their blog post. “In the 1400s, the majority of individuals believed that the departing of the soul of a dead person was a literal physical event. ‘Passing away’ meant that the deceased person had begun their soul’s journey [to the afterlife].”
Terminology Used Today
Today, speaking about death in straightforward terms is becoming more common. To talk about death in direct and definitive terms can be helpful to both children and adults who are grieving. However, some people may find it comforting to hear and use softer language when talking about and experiencing death. Be cognizant and respectful around terms that people may prefer to hear or use.
Cremains vs. Cremated Remains vs. Ashes
What is the Difference Between Cremains, Cremated Remains and Ashes?
“Cremains are the bone fragments left over after a body has gone through the cremation process,” noted Williams Funeral Homes. “The term ‘cremains’ is a portmanteau, meaning it’s a blending of words to create a new, more succinct one. In this case, the word ‘cremains’ is a blend of ‘cremated’ and ‘remains.’”
Cremated remains and ashes hold the same definition. However, “ashes” is not a term typically used in funeral service because it’s not an accurate reflection of cremated remains. Cremated remains are more of a course, sandy texture and ashes, from something like a campfire, are finer and dustier.
Terminology Used Today
On their website, Cremation Association of North America (CANA) wrote, “We feel that the word ‘cremains’ should not be used when referring to ‘human cremated remains.’ ‘Cremains’ has no real connection with the deceased, whereas a loved one's ‘cremated remains’ has a human connection.”
At Homesteaders, we no longer use the term “cremains” and have instead adopted “cremated remains” for the same reason.
Casket vs. Coffin
What is the Difference Between a Casket and a Coffin?
Jamie Dravecky, Homesteaders Senior Account Executive, noted, “Coffins are either hexagonal or octagonal in shape. Caskets are rectangular in shape.”
“Because coffins don’t require nearly as much material, they are often less expensive than caskets,” noted Life Celebration® Homes. However, because coffins are not as common in the U.S., finding a coffin designer and producer can be an expensive process.
Terminology Used Today
Use the term that best portrays the product you’re using: casket or coffin. Typically, in the U.S. today, caskets are used for a funeral and/or burial, unless the family opts for cremation and an urn only.
“Another important language distinction,” said Lindsay Cutter, Homesteaders Account Executive, “is the term ‘casket showroom.’ People more commonly today say ‘selection room’ because it’s not as daunting for families and addresses that a selection room includes a variety of products that a family could choose, beyond traditional caskets.”
Funeral Home vs. Funeral Parlor
What is the Difference Between a Funeral Home and Funeral Parlor?
“Funeral homes as places to hold viewings, visitations and funeral services have a fairly recent history, dating only back about 170 years. From the earliest times since the Renaissance until the mid-1800s, tending to the dead took place in family homes,” wrote Glickler Funeral Home & Cremation Service in this blog post.
“Most homes were built with a room in the front of the house that was called a parlor. The parlor was not used by the family except when guests [or mourners, in the case of a death] came to visit.”
As we know today, funeral homes “are places where you can go to have a funeral service for someone who has died. They typically include caskets and urns, but they may also offer other services like cremations, pre-arrangement, burial plots and more.”
Terminology Used Today
Today, the term funeral home is more commonly used in the U.S. to encompass all the services a funeral home offers client families, rather than simply a place to hold a visitation or funeral.
Additionally, firms with multiple locations often choose gentler language to reflect the compassionate care they provide. For instance, using a name like “Smith Funeral Homes, Chapel and Cremation Center” creates a warmer, more personal impression compared to terms like “branch” or “facility,” which can feel institutional. Some funeral homes have even added the term “life celebration center” to their name, for example, “Smith Funeral Home and Life Celebration Center.” This thoughtful wording helps convey a sense of connection and care, welcoming families into a comforting environment.
“You have funeral homes or chapels, not branches or facilities. A branch is something a bank has. Don’t make it sound like you represent a large, impersonal company,” said Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D., in an article from the Center for Loss & Loss Transition®.
This is certainly not an exhaustive list of funeral terminology and updated language around funerals and funeral service. In fact, this funeral home in Wales compiled a list of additional terms to offer more respect to the clients they serve.
While not everyone may choose to adopt every word on this list, it remains important to discover which words and phrases bring comfort and respect to client families or to friends and family members who have experienced a death. Knowing how language changes can offer us new ways to connect with those we serve and those we love. What words would you add to this list?
